


a very Personal Discussion

by Giggi1



Category: Discworld, Discworld - Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angry Kissing, Jingo, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-10
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-09-23 09:33:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9649862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Giggi1/pseuds/Giggi1
Summary: Takes place during the meeting at the end of Jingo, where the Patrician bribes Vimes into accepting the title of Duke of Ankh-Morpork. Things go a little differently.





	

“I'm bought and sold, aren't I?” said Vimes, shaking his head. “Bought and sold.”  
“Not at all”, said Vetinari.  
“Yes, I am. We all are. Even Rust. And all those poor buggers who went off to get slaughtered. We're not part of the big picture, right? We're just bought and sold.”

 Vetinari was suddenly in front of Vimes, his chair hitting the floor behind his desk.  
“Really? Men marched away, Vimes. And men marched back. How glorious the battles would have been that they never had to fight!”

Vimes had never known the Patrician to react this intensely to his words. He fought to stare straight ahead, focus on the far wall, but it was difficult to concentrate when the Patrician was standing so close he could practically feel his breath on his face.  
He lost the fight against himself. Involuntarily, he met Vetinari's eyes, which were looking at him intently. Like they could see right inside his mind, and they were searching for something...  
At the center of the Patrician's focused attention, Vimes found himself unable to look away. He didn't dare blink.

The Patrician seemed to be waiting for something. After long moments that could've been hours, his gaze shot down to Vimes' lips before settling back on his eyes. He raised one eyebrow expectantly.

Vimes suddenly found it difficult to breathe.  
He knows, he thought. The bastard knows…

With what he could only describe as suicidal madness, he grabbed lord Vetinari's collar and forcibly pulled him towards him, roughly pressing their mouths together. The Patrician kissed him back without a moment's hesitation, his hands coming to rest lightly on Vimes' hips.

Vimes realized that not only had Vetinari expected this, he been _waiting_ for it. Waiting, not acting, knowing full well that eventually, Sam would. He always knew just how Sam Vimes would react...  
He slammed the Patrician against a wall, kissing him angrily. The bastard had known all along.

Vetinari didn't seem to mind being manhandled.  
In fact, he still somehow seemed to manage to have the upper hand. Whenever Vimes had found a rhythm, the Patrician did something that unbalanced him, he moved his face, his mouth, his tongue, in unexpected ways.  
He was impossible to pin down, even pressed against a wall. _Especially_ pressed against a wall.  
It was infuriating. It was exhilarating.

Vimes' mouth left the Patrician's lips to kiss him along his jawline, not quite daring to bite him. To his amazement, Vetinari tilted his head back, exposing his throat. Like an explorer moving to uncharted territories, Vimes slowly moved his lips down, always keeping in contact with the skin. It felt like a gift of trust, Vetinari choosing to be vulnerable, for him. But everybody knew the Patrician trusted no one.  
He could feel his pulse.  
He could feel every movement of his adam's apple when he spoke, quietly.  
“Are you still averse to the idea of handcuffs, Commander?”

The noise Vimes made was muffled by Vetinari's neck.

 

There was a polite cough behind him. Vimes froze, desperately trying to recollect his thoughts.  
Slowly, he took a step back, breaking the contact between them. The Patrician was smiling slightly. Awkwardly, Vimes relaxed his grip on his shirt and let go. Then he turned around.

Carrot was looking somewhat uncomfortable. He was blushing a deep red. Of course, it wouldn't be like Carrot to discreetly sneak out. That would be almost like lying, and besides, there were probably rules and regulations about having to be dismissed before leaving.

Vimes cleared his throat uneasily. He couldn't quite believe what he had just done. He was vaguely surprised that all his limbs and vital organs seemed to still be attached and intact.

The Patrician, in the meantime, was smoothly fixing his clothes, which appeared to somehow have become fairly ruffled. “Was there anything else, Captain Carrot?”

“No, Sir!” Carrot stood up and saluted flawlessly.

“In that case, I expect you and _Lord_ Vimes will have things to sort out at the police station? Crimes to stop, perhaps.” Carrot saluted again and turned to leave. Vimes knew he should follow him, but his mind had not yet properly processed the last few minutes. He couldn't tear his gaze away as lord Vetinari meticulously tucked his collar back into place.

Once again impeccably dressed, the Patrician turned to see Vimes still standing near the door. He flashed him one of those sharp, fleeting little smiles to say that something that wasn't very funny had nevertheless amused him.  
“ _Veni_ , _vici_ … Vetinari.”

**Author's Note:**

> When reading Jingo for the first time, I came across the line  
> “Vetinari was suddenly in front of Vimes, his chair hitting the floor behind his desk.”  
> I couldn't help thinking that this sounded like a line right out of a fanfic. Then I wondered what this fanfic might be like, one thing led to another and I kinda... wrote it  
> (also, there's that moment where the Patrician insists that Vimes handcuff him even tho Vimes thinks it's unnecessary. That was also an inspiration)


End file.
